[ Tuesday, August 13, 2002 ]

 
   

Mood: 1/3 Happy, 1/3 Sad, and 1/3 Depressed
Music: Green Day- Macy's Day Parade

Reasons Why I'm.......
...happy: My birthday was yesterday, and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect one. Maybe that's why they call it Sweet Sixteen. It was definitely sweet. On Thursday, my friends Jay and Heather "kidnapped" me and took me out to dinner and to a movie. It totally caught me off guard..I mean, my b-day wasn't until Monday. Very clever of them...^_^ I cried, I was so happy. I'm am getting them back though...>=D On Saturday, I had a buncha friends over. We watched movies, talked, and played miniature golf. Bwahahaha....how fun it was. And Monday, was of course the day. 16 years....whee, how time flies. It seems like yesterday I was 8....that was half my lifetime ago!!! Life is short...so live like yer gonna die tomorrow. Anywho...I hung out at home and had my choice of dinner. I chose Long John Silvers. My aunt laughed at me....hey...I like Long John Silvers...and we never have it. Plus, I didn't want to make dinner hard on my mom. She's been stressed lately. After dinner, we had cake!! And presents...lol. Beth gave me a Borders gift card. Mmmmm...books.....I'll have fun with that. ^_^ Caleb gave me Squee's Wonderful Big Giant Book of Unspeakable Horrors. Well...he is...once the comic store gets it in. It's on backorder. My parents gave me a dolphin candle holder. It's rilly pretty...the dolphin is the stand, and this blue glass basket hangs down from it's nose/mouth and holds a little white candle. ^_^ They also gave me $50..which is going towards our trip tomorrow...if I should see somethin I like or whatever. So yah...I'm also happy because I have over $800 in my savings account. Fear my money...fear it!!! Also...Marc called me a total bitch and an asshole. Yes...I know, to you, they are insults...and normally, they would be to me too and I'd bitch-slap the person who called me them. But see, I hate Marc, and he likes me. To get him to call me such names is a triumph. *waves "yay" flag around*

.....sad: I'm sad because this trip is the true end of summer. Literally...we're getting back the night before skool starts. LATE night. Then I have to get up and go to skool the next morning. I'm dreading skool. Literally dreading it....I'm taking French 3, Weighted Grade Honors Algebra 2/Trig, Honors L/A 10, and Chemistry. Those are my "hard" classes...I'm taking World History (No way on this Earth I would ever take AP Euro...*shudders*) and Life Sports 1st semester and Drawing 2nd Semester. Out of all my classes, the one I know I'm going to hate the most is French 3. Yes.....I have completed my graduation credits....but I'd still have to take it in college. I know Mizzou requires 3 hours. If I take it through French 4 in high skool, then I'll be exempt from those hours, saving study time and money (I have to pay 1/2 my college education..so every little bit helps I guess). Plus..I guess it'll be easier than if I take it in college...I'll have more of a chance to ask questions (not that I already do...but you never know). I pray to whatever Powers That Be that I got a 4 or 5 on my MAP last year.....then I can exempt out of any final I choose. (FRENCH 3, BABY!!!) But yah...if I suffer through it, my mom said I can maybe skip my final year of Math (which would be AP Calc...I know I'm going into a career of science..so yah..) and then I could take on a job at skool. They offer jobs to seniors for the last 2 periods of each day..as office aids and such. They wanted my sister to apply, but she wanted to take a study hall.

....depressed: 2 reasons here. #1, one of my best friends is leaving for 3 months. He's gonna write me......but my mom is gonna have a spazz attack...I know it. Buuut...you never know......she didn't freak at all when I said I wanted to ship a Stitch plushie to one of my best friends in England. I think she secretly did, though...if I know Mom. She's getting used to the idea that I have a pen pal though....just as long as I pay all the extra mail costs. *shrug* I have no prob with that...I was going to anyway. But yah...he's leaving for 3 months...then coming back for a bit...then he's leaving again. Merf...;_; Reason #2 is...I dunno. Part of me is always depressed...no matter how happy I am. That's partly why I have mood swings all the time. Something good will happen and I'll be on top of the world...and then this black force just slowly pulls me down...deeper and deeper into sadness. Then they crying starts. And I don't even know why I'm crying...I just am because I'm sad. Merf...I just hope none of my dolls turn into Mr. Eff and D-Boy..that's just what I need...2 styrofoam pig-things...one telling me to kill myself, and the other telling me not to. Oi...the day that happens is the day I go to the doctor and get some anti-depressants. Or maybe anti-crazy pills. Maybe both. Merf.

Gods...I have to go get ready...*sigh* I have to do laundry and pack...I'm just taking clothes, the laptop, my portable CD player, and my sketchbook and pencils. I'm gonna lay on the beach and type and draw. Oh....and make a sand castle and a turtle. No trip to the beach is complete without making a castle and a turtle. Merf. ^_-;;

Bai all...and don't worry about my depressive fits, if you are. They're who I am...just like comedy is part of Bekah and funness is part of Heather. ^_~ If you're not worried, then yay. *waves "yay" flag around again*

    Lar [8:16 PM]

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