[ Sunday, January 11, 2004 ]

 
   

Mood: Pissed Off/Depressed
Music: -None-

Fuck. I was doing my AP Chem homework tonight, to get it done so I didn't have to do it tomorrow. Well, I get through the problems, until I have 2 left. And fuck. They're hard. So I ask my sister. And she has no clue on how to do them either. God dammit all to hell. So I sat there, doing the first one. For THREE...FUCKING...HOURS...trying to do that god damn problem, and still not getting anywhere. At this point, I started crying out of frustration. I mean, one does not linger on one fucking problems for 3 hours. I tried everything, even things we haven't even done yet, and I'l still not getting a fucking answer. So I finally left, curled up into a ball in the living room, and sobbed. That is how my parents found me 15 minutes later, when they got home. They tried to comfort me, saying how if I had so much trouble with it, then imagine how much trouble the other people are having.

GOD DAMMIT.

That does not help me worth shit, because I am one of the stupidest people in that damn class. I got an 82 by the skin of my teeth, only because I did not take the final exam. I would have FAILED it. I feel so out of place there. I'm surrounded by these smart, fantastic students who get straight A's and have genius IQs, and I don't understand ANYTHING in there. Do you know how many F's I've gotten on tests in that class? If you asked me if I'd ever gotten an F last year, I would have been shocked and said no. I am so used to them now, I don't even care anymore if I see an F on another paper. I just don't care anymore.

I am so discouraged right now.

I'm going to go cry some more.

   Lar [12:29 AM]

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