[ Friday, August 20, 2004 ]

 
   

Mood: Very Depressed
Music: Switchfoot- Dare You to Move

Ok...so I pulled myself out of solitary confinement today and made myself go to Jessika's party thing at her house. I had asked her at school, "Am I going to be the 3rd wheel?" And she cheerily replied, "Oh, no!" I felt like the 3rd wheel. -_-;; I mean, 3 boys, 4 girls....2 couples at the start, 3 couples by the time I left. (A boy and a girl left the room and came back holding hands, that's when I thought, "Fuck it, I'm leaving.")

So I thought, "Maybe I can go visit Will at McDonalds." So I went there, got a diet Coke, and waited for him to notice me. And waited. And waited. After about 5 minutes of standing there, awkwardly sipping at my drink, the manager came over and was like, "Do you need anything?" -_-;; And I said, "No..I'm just here to see if Will wants to talk." "HEY WILL!! YOU HAVE A LADY-FRIEND HERE!!!" -_-;;;;;; {Will} *Shouting from the back* What?" {Dude at the front} "Your lady-friend is here."

O.....m.....f.....g.....

What the bloody hell was I thinking??

I mean, I'm like the shyest person I know!!! What the hell was I thinking, trying to get his attention like that?!! There's no way in hell I'll ever get anyone to go out with me- especially someone like him.

I need to just go shoot myself now and do the whole human race a favor. I'll never get married. I'll never have kids. I'm just a waste on the whole world. I'm a waste of life. I wish someone smart and useful would have been reincarnated into my body, because I am such a waste of energy and time and don't deserve to live on this beautiful world that I don't appreciate at all.

    Lar [10:18 PM]

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