Mood: Indescribable
Music: Five for Fighting- 100 Years
I went out to lunch with my Grandma today, and then stopped off at Best Buy to buy Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the King Kong soundtrack. While I was in Best Buy, I looked down at my phone and saw that I had just received a phone call and had a new voicemail message. I saw that it was Jessika, and figured that she wanted to know what I was doing that night. I didn't listen to her message in the store...but I listened to it on the way home. She said that something had happened, and I needed to call her right away. I thought that she meant something had happened in regards to our plans...and she was going to have to cancel our New Year's preparations or something. Well, when I got home, I gave her a call.....and she slapped the news on me.
Our friend Thomas' little sister, Lizzy, passed away.
I was just floored...I mean...she was 15. Fifteen!! I asked what had happened...and Jessika told me that she had died of brain cancer. I was shocked...I mean...no one had ever mentioned to me she had cancer. Well, that's because they didn't know themselves. Last Monday (before Christmas), Lizzy started fainting, and they took her to the hospital. They did scans, found the cancer, then operated. She fell asleep and, by Thursday, was pronounced dead.
I am just so down right now...I feel so horrible for Thomas' family...she was the youngest of the kids. I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose a sibling...and to know that Thomas is going through that right now...it breaks my heart. I mean, going up to him and saying, "I'm sorry for your loss..." can only do so much, you know? I can't imagine what that must be like...and for his parents, to lose their baby...I just can't imagine it.
To have a life taken away by cancer at the age of 15...I still can't seem to wrap my mind around it. When I think of cancer...I think of an adult problem...my mom...my grandpa...my grandma...friend's parents...family friends....all who have had cancer. When I hear that a child has cancer...something that has the potential to kill them...I just can't comprehend it. A childhood friend of mine recently died of cancer...and I still can't believe that the world is now void of her presence. I mean...when someone you know dies, and they're an adult...you can take comfort in the fact that they lived a long life and experienced many things. But when a child dies....and all of their dreams have vanished with their last breath...it's so depressing.
Lizzy's funeral was this evening, which was why Jessika had called. I went with Jessika, and I was astounded at how many people were there. She was a freshman in high school...and just about the whole freshman class of Eureka High School showed up...as well as members from the other classes, faculty members from EHS, LaSalle Springs Middle School faculty, past graduates of EHS that knew Thomas and his family...there were so many people there. I hope that Thomas and his family can take comfort in the fact that Lizzy touched so many lives. I don't think that many people would have shown up if she wasn't loved.
During the funeral, I thought a lot about death...and how it can just show up out of nowhere, as it did for Lizzy. If death showed up for me so suddenly...would I have a lot of regrets? I don't want to die with regrets. I only have one really big regret...and that's that I didn't go to church when I was younger. I know that, at the age of 7, I wouldn't have been able to make the decision to go to church on my own...but not going to church caused me to have a lot of doubts in God...especially a few years ago, when I found out my mom had cancer. But as I've grown into myself a little more, I've also grown more in my faith. I spoke with mom this evening after the funeral, and I asked her if we could start going to church when I'm home...and, if we find the right church, for me to get baptized. I don't think that I'm going to HAVE to get baptized to get into Heaven when I die...I don't think God would leave me out in the cold that is limbo (I don't think God would send a person like me into Hell). But it's something that I want to do. I'm sort of embarrassed, posting this on LJ...I don't really like to talk about religion with my friends very much. I think it's an aftereffect of my lack of faith from a few years ago, when a friend of mine told me that I was going to Hell...meep.
Sighness...today just hasn't really been a good day. -_- My thoughts and prayers are going to be with Thomas' family for a long time.
Before I go...Alan's "premiere" is tonight down in the big FL....and is going on right this second, as I'm typing this...so I'm wishing him the best of luck...and that he's playing the Simple and Clean remix...because it's awesome. I'm hoping his CD turntable arrived...I had my fingers crossed today that it would get there in time.
Alright...I'm going to go write a post, then watch Hitchhiker's....or listen to the KK soundtrack...probably the latter, so I can have background music for my rambled thoughts.
Lar [9:57 PM]
Mood: Bouncy
Music: The King Kong Soundtrack
Christmas was awesome. I finally got into the spirit early Christmas morning, around 2 AM, when I went upstairs and saw that it was snowing. I was so happy that I cried...I can't even remember the last time we had a white Christmas, if we've ever had one. It was so beautiful...the light from the Christmas lights reflected against the snowflakes, so the falling snow was rainbow-colored. It was so pretty. ^^
I was so surprised about how much I received from my family/relatives...I tried to find things on sale when my mom asked me what I wanted...because I didn't really want anything big.
World Thoroughbred Championships (PS2 Game)
Billy Madison <3
Happy Gilmore <3
Inuyasha Season 2
A gorgeous necklace
Fire and Ice perfume
An Orlando Bloom calendar
A pair of jeans
A Tohru Honda t-shirt
A Sesshoumaru figurine
Star Wars: Clone Wars Vols 1 and 2 (EEEEE animated General Grievous!! <333)
Inuyasha: Swords of an Honorable Ruler (3rd movie ^^)
I, Robot (Will Smith..*sighs happily*)
And the biggest surprise...
A metal DDR pad. O.O
I had casually mentioned to my mom that they were awesome, and I'd love to have one...but that I was too poor at the moment to buy one. And she got me one!!!! *huggles mom to death*
I've been filling the house with the awesomeness that is DDR with my practicing. It's made SUCH a difference than the old pad....I actually AA'd some more songs!! AA!! ME!!!! The crappiest of the crappiest of DDR players!! XD Had I tried the same thing on my old pad....well...let's just say I would have fallen on my ass faster than when I sneezed while walking down the stairs.
Lacey, it's the same one we were looking at on our excursion to Toys R Us. XD The Intec. It's heavy, but dammit, I am going to lug it over to your room and we are going to DDR like the crazy ladies we are!!! XD
I hope everyone had a safe and happy Christmas...and those who got a white Christmas didn't get stuck anywhere. *huggles*
I should be getting to bed...Grandma O insisted that we come out to lunch tomorrow...and I felt too guilty to lie to get out of it...so I'll be biting my lip to keep myself from speaking out against her tomorrow. I love my Grandma....but she just doesn't tend to think things through before she speaks...O_<;
Let's see....anything else...oh yes....Lacey drew me 2 kickass pics that stemmed from my crazy dream. *points down to previous post* I made my new icon out of the second one. I wuff you Lacey!!!!! ^^ *glomps*
Lar [9:16 PM]
Mood: Thoughtful
Music: Green Day- Boulevard of Broken Dreams
You know your life is boring when all you can do to make a post in your blog is describe a dream you had the night before.
So...thanks to the wonderfulness of King Kong, I had a dream that Emy and I were being chased by velociraptors. You know, those things in Jurassic Park that sound like a mixture of a screaming cat and a squeaky metal door. Well, we were being chased by three of them, and we ran into my house for shelter. Only, when we went in, the raptors jumped in through the dining room window. I noticed that there was a gun hanging on the wall (no, there isn't really a gun hanging on the wall in my house. XD), and I grabbed it and started firing at them. I'm surprised at how well I shot, since all I've ever shot in my life is a BB gun. I succeeded in hitting two of the three, but then the gun refused to fire anymore. Emy and I ran downstairs, where, to my surprise, there was an indoor swimming pool. We ran around the pool, the raptor close behind, and went into my room where we locked the door. After being really quiet for awhile, I started to hear someone (it was a guy) crying. I listened, and it was coming from outside my door, next to the pool. I asked, "Who is it?" but all I heard was more crying. I slowly opened the door to see who it was, and it turned out to be the raptor!! I was going to shut the door and lock it...but he just looked so sad!! Have you ever seen a velociraptors cry?? I don't think so. Well, it's heartbreaking, let me tell you. I was still afraid to open the door, but I still had it cracked open. I asked him, "What's wrong?" and he said, "I'm so lonely..." I said, "...but don't you have friends upstairs? The ones that were chasing us?" He only cried harder and said, "You shot them." I was like, "Oh.......crap....I'm sorry....." then I started to cry, because I felt horrible. Emy was standing behind me, saying, "Don't fall for it, Lo!! He's only going to lure you outside with pity and then he's going to kill and eat you!! Don't fall for it!!" Well....I already had. I said, "I'm going to open the door...so shut it behind me after I go out." Emy started crying, and she sobbed, "You're going to die!!! You're going to be eaten!!" So many tears in this dream. Well, I went out, and Emy shut the door behind me. I suddenly realized, "Oh...I'm standing right next to a velociraptor with huge claws and teeth. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." But even with me standing right there, he was still crying. I apologized to him...since it was sorta my fault for killing his friends...and I did feel really bad about it. But they were chasing us...what else was I supposed to do?? I didn't know they could talk, or else I would have given them food in exchange for, you know, not eating us. But he just kept crying...so I did what I do best....I...er...hugged him. Yes....I hugged a velociraptor. I tell you, it surprised the poor thing. Actually, it surprised me too...because I didn't actually know I was hugging him until I was hugging him. It was an odd, sweet moment. Then I woke up.
So there you go....classic Velociraptor Chases Girl, Girl Kills Velociraptors Friends, Velociraptor Feels Sad, Girl Feels Remorse For Killing Velociraptor's Friends, Girl Befriends Velociraptor.
Maybe I'll have another dream about my friend the dinosaur tonight. I need to name him or something. XD
Emy, you should be very happy you were in my dream...but very sad because I'm disappointed in you!!! You broke our streak and saw King Kong for a third time WITHOUT ME!!!! *cries* You make me sad!!!! ;_; (I'm just kidding, I love you!!! XD)
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve...meaning my house will be invaded by relatives again. I think I am going to shut my room off tomorrow...there will be too many children in my room trying to play with my anime and Star Wars figurines. Yes, I know I just admitted to being a complete nerd. XD You all love me anyway though, right? Ok then. ^^ But yes, children and Laura's room don't mix....so I think I'm going to learn from Thanksgiving and perhaps close off my room so the youngins can't get in. I don't mind if they come in when I'm in there...but I'll be upstairs most of the time. Yay.
I can't seem to get into the Christmas spirit though....it just doesn't feel like Christmas. =( Funny, I was in the spirit a few weeks ago at school...but it's faded away. >< Maybe if I listen to some Christmas music or something, that'll awaken the happy holiday cheer. XD
If I don't post by Christmas, have a great holiday!!!!! ^^
Lar [6:13 PM]
Mood: Freakishly Happy
Music: My Girlish Squeals
I have officially owned college in the face. =)
I GOT ALL A'S!!!!! 4.0!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
...I totally don't know how that happened.
Now...if I can only keep it up for next semester....Emy, I'm counting on you to help me with French/Pre-Calc. XD As for my schedule next semester....I'm taking Biology II, Pre-Calculus, Intermediate French I, and World Masterpieces (Literature). I think I am most dreading French...I'm not sure how much of the grammar I remember. ><
Oh well though...if I bust my ass off even more, maybe I can pull off all As again. I just need to study more. ><
Uwah, I'm so happy though. I can't wait until next year...I stopped in Columbia on my way to St. Louis and visited with my sister...and she gave me a driving tour of east campus (even though it was only half of Mizzou, it was still 5x the size of Central @.@). I don't know how I'm going to manage to find my classes. XD Next year, I shall be lost in the depths of Mizzou...who knows if I'll ever find my way out. XD
But yes, I am SO excited about Mizzou. Going there...I think it will actually FEEL like college, you know? At Central...it just feels like a big version of high school. I feel as though this semester I've accomplished absolutely nothing...that even though I've studied, I haven't learned anything...that I've BSed my way through yet another semester of school and still have a 4.0. That's seriously all I did in high school. I BSed my way through it and ended up with an above 4.0 accumulative GPA. I feel so fake. I feel like I'm still in high school. But being at Mizzou today...it FELT like college. When I'm at Central, I always find myself walking around campus and suddenly thinking, "Oh, that's right...I'm in college..." but it only happens when I look at the buildings...or suddenly remember that I have to get my keys out to get into my dorm. When I'm studying, or in class, I never dawns on me that I'm there...200 miles away from home...paying however much I'm paying for an "advanced" education.
Well, enough about school. I could rant forever about school. XD
Let's talk about...oh...I don't know.....CHRISTMAS BREAK!!!! Freedom, freedom, glorious freedom!!!!!! 3 whole weeks of...damn...working at the antique mall...~_~
...on an ending note..I just took a sip of my Diet 7-Up...and for a brief, flashing moment..it tasted like beer.
Lar [8:49 PM]
Mood: Ecstatic
Music: Coldplay- Fix You
JKJFIIUJERIJEIJGIDJRFIOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*points up* That was my "Oh Hellz Yeah" jibberish.
I GOT AN A IN BIOLOGY!!!!
World = Explodes
Laura Getting an A in Biology = Skin of Teeth
OH WELL I GOT AN A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...now, if I can only pull off the same thing in History....~_~
If I complete tomorrow morning's "Laura gets 83% on history exam", I will have As in all of my classes. Now I have to knock on wood...now that I've said that, I'm going to get a C on it or something. XD
Alright...so...back to studying......<.< >.>
Lar [8:37 PM]
Mood: Compressed
Music: Kingdom Hearts- Simple and Clean Remix
Uuuuugggggghhhhh...I feel so, so crappy right now. I feel as though I have a million things to do...and I'm still feeling a little off from last weekend's bout of stomach flu. I think my stomach/abs are still in shock. And my legs..oh god, my legs...I'm bedridden for 1 1/2 days and they all of a sudden say, "Hey..you gave us a vacation...we're going to quit functioning now. =)" I'm like, "Damn you legs....I can cut you off, you know....I'll get a moped and ride that around. ><"
Finals aren't helping either.....especially Biology. Thank God that's over with...though I don't think I got my A. -_- I hope, hope, HOPE that he decides to curve it...I have an 89!!! He would only need to curve it by one point. ;_; *tear* And I have Comp II tomorrow...and History Friday....
And I have to clean...and pack.....and load my car.....and write several things....and go to the post office....and apply for transfer.....and call Natalie about moving in with her next year......
I feel as though I should write a list...what to do first, what to do last...but where on Earth should I start?? ;_;
Uwah, I just want to go home and get a Mom hug. Things wouldn't be so bad if I didn't feel physically ill as well as mentally ill. One I can deal with...but not both. =X
I'm going to start double posting....I've had a request for me to copy/paste my entries to LJ. Soooo..you all can comment there if you like. I don't care...I'm still going to update here.
Lar [12:33 PM]
Mood: Happy
Music: Kingdom Hearts- Simple and Clean
I am now stuffed with the glory that is chinese. Woo.
Algebra is over with....I think I did very well. ^^
Now for a meme-ish thing...
Here's the deal - if you're my friend, you'll do this for me. And in return, I'll fill it out for you too!
1. What do you think my best quality is?
2. Why do you like knowing me?
3. What media character (tv, book, game, etc) do I remind you of?
4. If I had a billion dollars, what's the first thing I should spend it on?
5. Finally: What's your name and how did we meet?
Lar [9:13 PM]
Random rants to you from me. Contact info~ E-mail: Sailor_Princess14@hotmail.com AIM: FluffyLoveKitty
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